This is a review of Drank, the anti-energy beverage. For basic info about it, you can go to http://drankbeverage.com, where you will be regaled with an autoplay video which contains the headline "Open a Can of Drag-ass."

It was that particularly thoughtful headline that really made me take the plunge of ordering a case of "The Anti-Energy Drink." After several weeks of careful experimentation, I have quite a few points to make:

Drank is a sparkling grape-based beverage, but is way lighter on the palate than any grape soda I've ever had. You could imagine grape soda cut with champagne to get the consistency, but it wouldn't quite nail the flavor, which is also fairly light. It's unexpectedly refreshing.

Drank's active ingredients include melatonin, valerian root extract, and rose hips extract. Melatonin, as we all learned in Behavioral Neuroscience, helps regulate your circadian rhythm, and is often used in the treatment of insomnia. Drank, in opposition to its marketing, is absolutely no joke.

In terms of its sheer ability to knock you unconscious, it's unbelievable. I had two in a row one day and fell asleep for the night at 5:30 p.m. Another day I drank an Enviga (an energy tea--you can learn more at http://enviga.com) and followed it up immediately with a Drank. Drank absolutely overpowered the caffeine and ginseng and the ludicrous amount of sugar in both beverages and worked like a lullabye.

Nutritionally speaking, it's horrifying. You're looking at 220 calories per 16 oz. can, with 54 grams of sugar. This stuff is not for everyday use unless you want to gain a spare tire and lose a few teeth.

It's marketed in a ludicrous way and the makers imply that it's good for athletes and students, which is most likely rubbish. On the other hand, it is absolutely hilarious (see my innumerable tweets hashtagged #swerve and #lean), so I give it enormous bonus points on this front.

I'd also like to note that it is a totally fantastic mixer, although needless to say you can't enjoy more than one can's worth (both because that much sugar in a mixer won't sit well in your stomach, and because one can combined with any amount of alcohol will make you sleep where you stand). It goes well with both gin and vodka; I haven't tried it with rum or whiskey and I doubt it would go well.

The price point is a bit hefty (above $2 apiece when ordered directly from drankbeverage.com), but frankly I think it's worth it.

Overall, Drank is a fine beverage, but it bears repeating: this is not a plaything. In fact, I've had one while writing this, and I zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz